Missing in Action

Well I have been MIA for the past week. We had a pretty good time. There was a few stressful times, but over all it was a nice trip. We went and stayed with my brother and sister-n-law for three days and then we went to a Church campmeeting for a few days.
We took the girls to build a Bear and let them build a bear. They loved that. Brooke named hers Mie Mie. Courtney named hers Angel.
Darcie, (My SIL) and I went shopping and I was able to get some good deals. I bought the girls a dress that matched. I know they will look pretty. We went to a park so the children could play. That turned out to be a disaster. Brooke had fun on the swings, but when I got her off she screamed and cried. I could not do anything with her. I put her back on the swing and she screamed. The way she was acting we could tell she was in pain. She was kicking and screaming and pulling my clothes. I have never seen her act this way. We had to leave the park. Brooke cried all the way back to Darcie's house. We gave her gas drops and she finally went to sleep. She slept about 2 hours. I don't really know what happened. She could have been very tired.
I was worried about how Brooke would sleep on the trip. She did great. She slept through the nights, and done wonderful.
We drove to Knoxville Tennessee, and was truly blessed with the meeting. We came home encouraged in our souls and encouraged to press the battle on. We loved seeing the different saints from different states. We loved seeing the unity and love the saints of God have for each other. I am very tired because I pretty much had Brooke to myself. As you know she is a mommy's baby. Well she was a triple mommy's baby this trip. She did not want anybody to touch her. She cried for her mommy and I was the only one who gave her comfort. At the hotel Brooke would let her daddy hold her and play with her. The minute we would walk out of the hotel Brooke refused to let anybody touch her. There was so many people coming up to her and telling her how pretty she was and telling her hi. I don't know if she freaked out, or just the change of being away from home. If somebody came up to speak to her she would say " No, no mommy, mommy" Or she would bury her face in my shirt and say " I want mommy". I tried to tell her that nobody was going to take her, that they was just saying hi. Brooke did not want to get down and play with the children. She would cling to my clothes and pull on me. During the Church service she would not let anybody hold her. She wanted her mommy and nothing could change that. So as you can see from this I am very very tired. I never know what is going through her mind. I hope and pray she has forgot her life in the orphanage. I sometimes wonder if things don't trigger in her little mind and she is scared we will leave her. Brooke slept in a pack in play and I wondered if it brought a memory back to her. I will never know. All I can do is hold her, kiss her, and let her know it is O.K.
I will post pictures later. For tonight I have got to get some sleep. Of the things I missed the most was my parents, My wonderful bed, and my favorite friend, (the computer) LOL
I wanted so bad to read my friends blogs. I have a week of catching up to do.
The trip home went so much better than our last trip home from Knoxville. We prayed much that Brooke would not scream and that she would do good. God answered prayer and Brooke done WONDERFUL.

All Girl

Brooke and her kitty.

Giving her baby a kiss.

Checking her baby's diaper

Changing her Baby.

Sweet Girl

What a smile!!!

Brooke is changing her doll. She has a baby wipe and diaper.

Friends. (Caden and Brooke)

Two Monkeys in a cage.

Sweet Girl

Cute pictures

I love Barney

I think they are having a picnic.

Enjoying the outside.

Brooke is in the baby doll stroller.

Fun without mommy

Christmas Tree

This says "I am in love" ?????? Courtney did this.

Brooke playing play dough.

This is not real! Kevin and Courtney was being silly.

Fire Truck

Showing her work.

My scrapbook page.

I went to a Scrapbook party last night. Kevin kept the girls and they had a blast. They built all kinds of interesting things with playdough. Kevin said I had to put their fun night on the blog. Here is some of the pictures. I am not for sure if it was Kevin or Courtney that did the clowning with the diaper. One of them put it on Brooke's head and took a picture. I did not post that. I did not want to post the one, to be honest. Kevin and Courtney wanted me to.
I had a great time at the party. I added a picture of my page I did.

A girl has to have her shoes!

Mom, I like your shoes.

clowning around

Keys, and Shoes, I am ready to go.

Apples and Ice Cream

Apple Dippers with Carmel (Brooke don't like the carmel)

Ice cream with carmel.

Enjoying apples

My two girls are different in their eating habits. I have one that is my health nut and one that is my junk food nut. I guess you can figure out by the pictures.

Wal-Mart Fun

This is Brooke on the top Shelf of the Toy Center at Wal- Mart. The girls love when daddy goes shopping with me. Especially Brooke. Daddy don't make Brooke stay in the buggy. He lets her walk and hold his hand. This makes it hard on me when it is just me and the girls. Brooke will cry and say " I want walk" She is saying she wants to walk. She don't understand that I can't push a buggy and hold her hand. That just don't work. I can't let Courtney hold her hand because they get to far ahead of me. They also like to clown to much. Courtney will say " I'm going to get you" Brooke will take off running and laughing to get away. Then mean mommy makes her get in the buggy and we have to go through this " I want walk" " I want daddy" all over again.
This picture was a day when daddy was with her and he set her in a Dora Chair. She loves Dora. She thought she was something in that chair. Kevin set her in a Elmo chair that vibrates. That chair scared Brooke. She wanted out of there.
Shopping is fun when daddy is there.

Tent Fun

This is FUN!!!

Taking a Break.

I made the girls a tent, in the living room and they had fun. Brooke thought it was so funny.

For My HFS January and February Friends

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I did this slide show for all my HFS friends. We have all shared something very special. I appreciate the friendship we all have. We have shared each others joys, sorrows, tears, happiness and a great journey together. Many of us traveled together. I wanted to give them each something for our Anniversary of our referrals and seeing our beautiful children. I thought this would be something nice for them all. I love you all, and your beautiful children.

Messages from Brooke

Caleb and Brooke

"My favorite Uncle. (He is my only one, so he is special)"

Courtney. Brooke, Kaley, and Jacob

"I love my cousin Jacob"

"A kiss for one of my favorite cousins"

"Girls Rule" (They left me out:(

"Oh yes, Girls Rule! Especially us little ones"

Message from mommy: We met our family to eat for Kevin and Lowells birthday. We had a great time. We miss all of them so much. They moved to Georgia, so we don't get to see them much. Lowell got a better job so they decided that was best. I don't blame them, but we all miss them so much. I guess some times we take family for granted. We did not realize how much we missed them until they was gone. (Sounds like they are dead) They are only two hours from us, so that is not to bad. I just miss getting to see my niece and my two nephew's. Courtney misses getting to spend time with her cousins. Brooke and Kaley could have so much fun together. Life goes on. We love all you guys.

American Girl Birthday

Courtney dressed as Molly

Little Miss Molly. I think she looks cute.

Message from Brooke

"I feel better"
"Mommy like my smiles"

Sick Baby

I want my happy Girl back!

" I feel so bad"

Miss Brooke is sick again. Poor baby has cried on and off all night. She will lay in the floor and hold one of my T-shirts and her passey. She feels so bad. She has fever and a terrible cough. Her nose has ran so much that it is almost raw. She was in the floor crying and I was saying" Oh my poor baby. Don't cry" I think that made it worse. LOL She would stop crying and I would baby talk to her and she would start to whine. I had to take these pictures. I think she is cute, even when she is crying. I really want my happy girl back.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday. I hope on your special day, you take time to remember how important you are to us, especially to me in particular. You are a wonderful husband and dad. I am thankful for the years we have been together. I am so proud of all you have done for our family. We love you very much.
Denna, Courtney, and Brooke

My Miracle Girl

Courtney (Miracle Baby)

Our 4 Embryo's (Courtney was probaby A or B)

Second ultrasound

Bad News ( You can see there was no room for baby to move or grow)

The next week after bad news. ( You can See how God allowed the sac to grow. There is plenty of room for growing and moving) The very top where there is a + is Courtney's leg. She kicked that leg out. God is so Good.

What is a Miracle? An extraordinary occurrence that surpasses all known human powers or natural forces and is ascribed to a divine or supernatural cause, especially to God. 2. A superb or surpassing example of something; wonderful; marvel.
Do you believe in Miracles? That is a question I don't have to think much about. I believe in Miracles. The bible was full of miracles. Even though we don't see some of the miracles that we read about in the bible, I believe God still does miracles.
To me the greatest miracle God has done is to take a soul that is sick of sin and save them. Many people have been bound by some terrible sins. Many homes have been broken up because of sin. Many young people have got involved in drugs, Alcohol, and other things because of sin. Attitudes, Hatred, lying, Stealing, and yes even murder have bound many people up. All because of sin. I was never involved in some of these gross sins, but in God's eyes sin is sin and I had sin in my life. It is a miracle when you see God save souls, and give deliverance from those sins that had them bound. It is a miracle when God puts homes back together. To me Salvation is the greatest Miracle we can experience. This post is not to talk so much about that, so I will continue with the miracle that God did for my little Girl.

Kevin and I had went through IVF to have Courtney. We had suffered with infertility a great bit. IVF worked the first time with us. We was so excited that we had a little baby on the way. Because of going through IVF I had to have a ultrasound every week for the first 2 months. We saw our first ultrasound and we was so excited. I think we actually saw three ultrasound, before we heard the bad news. When I was about 6 weeks into the pregnancy things started going down. We went to the Doctor and the nurse said that my baby was growing, but the sac that held her was not growing and that I WOULD loose the baby. You can see from the pictures that Courtney had no room to grow. According to the ultrasound I was behind on the pregnancy. Kevin and I was crushed. I cried all the way home. When we got home my Doctor called me and he said he had looked over the ultrasound pictures and I would have a miscarriage. He told me to take it easy and he told me what symptoms I would start to have.
By the time I got home news had traveled to everybody. Thank God for Faithful saints. The Saints of God pulled together and fasted and prayed for Kevin and I. God gave me such peace about the situation. Many of the ones praying felt this same peace. I did not cry. It was almost like God picked me up and carried me that week. Kevin and I did not think that God would bring us this far and then take our baby. We had already suffered so much. I am not saying we are better than anybody else that has lost a baby. We just felt with what we had been through that God was going to move on our child. The saints was a blessing to us that week. The day the nurse told me I was going to loose my child, was one of the worst days of my life. It brought back the day when my Doctor told me I would never have a child unless it was through adoption or IVF. God is so faithful and He performed a miracle on my little Girl.
I went back the next week to the Doctor and there was a huge change. God allowed me to keep my baby. I can never thank God enough for the miracle he did for us. That day was a day of rejoicing as we looked at the ultrasound. Kevin had prayed that we would see our baby move. Courtney kicked her leg out. We have that on tape. You can see her leg in the ultrasound picture. I was 6 weeks and showing 8 weeks. The Doctor said things could not look any better. On another subject for those who believe in abortion. This baby was moving at 6 weeks. She had a heart beat, legs that kicked , and hands that moved. She was not something for me to kill. She was my baby. I will not even get on this subject.
So Courtney is our miracle. If you look at the pictures, you can see God did that. Doctors did not do that. You might ask why did God allow it? We are not to question God. Maybe it was to let people know Who was in Control. Maybe it was to strengthen us or others. We will never know why, but we do know that God was in control and He gave us a miracle baby.
WE LOVE YOU COURTNEY.

Zoo Day

Relaxing

Courtney loved the carousel

"I'm not so sure about this"

First Train Ride

"This is not to bad"

Courtney and Kevin