My Day

I think that the devil likes for us to worry. I have had a condition in my body for the past four months on and off. Well I have suffered with it a good bit the past 14 days. I don't talk about it much because I just don't want to and I don't want my family to worry.
I decided to get a appointment with my Doctor to see what was going on. I think everybody has a fear of the worst when they are sick or have certain conditions in their bodies.
I was so scared as I was going today. I felt nervous, sick, and just scared to death. I tried to be so brave when my husband would ask if I was O.K. He was going to go with me, and I acted like it was no big deal. Let me tell you, deep down I was scared to death.
Well in my mind I am thinking what if I have cancer? I started feeling so stressed. I was taking Brooke to my moms and I was telling her that mommy had to go to the Doctor and I would be back for her soon. Brooke said in a very concerned voice. " Mommy are you sick" I said, "Well sorta, but I will be O.K"
Tears came to my eyes as I started thinking about the what ifs. What if it was this or that and my girls loose their mommy early. I started praying for God to help me. I turned my radio to a gospel station and there was a man talking on there. He was talking about how we worry about things and that God don't want us to worry that he wants us to cast all our cares on him. That God wants us to trust him. As I listened to that I felt a peace. Maybe God wanted me to hear those words. I prayed on and off all the way to the Doctor.
My Doctor was a little confused herself. I can't go into a whole lot on this blog because of what I have been through. I did mention cancer and my Doctor don't think that, but she wants me to have blood work done and a ultrasound done next Friday. She gave me some medicine that she felt my body needed. By the time I left the Doctors office I was a little stressed, with a big headache.
I went to the hospital to get my medicine filled. I went to Chick-Fil-A and ate by myself. I never eat by myself. It felt really strange not having somebody with me. By the time I got home I was feeling better about things. I take my medicine out and read the information on the package. My heart stopped........ It said " this medicine is a _______ used to treat cancer. It may also be used to treat other conditions as determined by your doctor.

So of course the devil starts trying so hard to make me worry and be upset. I have found that most things you worry about don't happen. I am trying to think positive and that everything is going to be fine. I really feel that everything will be O.K. I just dread this week. I wish I could go Monday or tomorrow and get this over with but I can't. That is a whole week that I have got to deal with this. I am going to try to think on positive and think of some good scriptures to make it through this week.
God has always gave me encouragement when I needed it and I know he will again. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be not to worry so much.

Brooke is crying right now because she wants to sleep in my bed because she is scared. I might just let her tonight. I know that might be starting something. She is very upset right now, so I guess I better end this for now.